Moving On

Heartbreak is mostly the reason why people wanted to move on. For the past few months, I’ve been struggling on how to put back the broken pieces of my heart. Yes, someone I dearly love just broke my heart.

How painful was that? Of course it was very painful. The kind of pain that never lets you sleep at night. The kind of pain that can make you drown in your own tears. The kind of pain that can make you lose your mind. The kind of pain that can never be cured by any medicine.

I was emotionally unstable. People usually say I’m a strong person. But hey, that’s not true. That’s only for show. That’s what I chose to show. Deep inside I’m weeping, screaming, and dying.

I usually spend my night contemplating on what, where, when, why and how did it happen. Things seem so unclear. I couldn’t find the answers to my questions.

At day time I’m happy, at night time I’m sad. At day time I laugh, at night time I cry. At day time I look at the computer and do my work, at night time I look at my phone and watch his pictures.

Months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds of sadness has finally ended. How? Well, if you have God nothing is impossible. So for the past few months, I always go to church, I seek help, guidance and forgiveness to the Lord. Let’s face the fact that most of us usually forget God if everything’s okay, but if not, that is the time that we remember Him. So yeah, this is what they call “Balik-loob sa Panginoon”.

I was so down but I know that God alone can heal me, can give me peace and can give me happiness. As I walk with Him, day by day I see all the good things that I can do to help me heal and move on.

I tried to be on my own. I go to the mall, eat alone, etc. Those are just examples of the things which I am afraid of – being alone. But then I realized that it’s not that bad at all. I may be alone but I am not lonely. I know that God is with me.

Things are getting better when I started to discover a lot of things about myself. I noticed that I’m very comfortable in front of the camera so I always make videos of myself. Since I love to travel, I started making travel videos.

I used to watch Patrice Averilla’s vlogs on youtube. She’s really nice and fun to watch. I got inspired to make my own vlogs so I created a youtube channel. Please search for my name, RJ Badilles and click that subscribe button. 😂

I love writing because it is where I could express myself. So I created this blog. I started to do some creative things wherein I could put all my time and effort. I created something which I know that would last a lifetime.

So the bottom line here is, everything happens for a reason and life must go on. We have to stand up after we fall. It’s okay to be alone, to be sad. Just cry your heart out because pain demands to be felt. But when you’re done, you’ll realized that there’s more to life than just how you feel.

We all go through that stage. You can’t change what has already happened but once you realized you deserve better, letting go will be the best decision ever. Just get up and start finding yourself. Be a better version of yourself. Turn your weakness into strength. Conquer your fears. Go out with your friends, watch movies, travel, find new hobbies, meet new people and most importantly, bring yourself closer to God.

Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be. Just live, learn and upgrade.