“Thank you for reminding me what butterflies feel like”

Everything starts with a simple conversation. From “Hi”, “Hello” to “I miss you” and “I love you”. From strangers to friends, then from friends to lovers.

Funny how our love story started. Let’s have a little rewind. I can still remember that day when I was so bored and posting videos on IG story was my only consolation. During that time, someone messaged me, it was you who said “cutie”. Then I responded with a smiley and from there, we had a little conversation about my trip to Ajuy, about my vlogs, etc. Then you added me on facebook and I accepted your friend request. After a few days you messaged me again. I was kind enough to entertain you but at some point I got annoyed because you have so many cheesy pick up lines. I was confused why the hell on earth you’re saying those things to me. We barely even know each other. I’m highly skeptical so I bashed you with harsh words like “Fuckboy, Asshole, Chick boy”, etc. But then you said you’re not that type of guy, you were just there because you wanted to get to know me even better. Then I said at the back of my mind, “Wait! What? I don’t want to have a deeper connection with this stranger. I’m okay with our friendship online. But wait let me check him first.” So there I was, stalking your facebook profile then I discovered that we have a common friend and that is Alex. Out of curiousity, I messaged Alex to confirm if you two are friends then he responded positively. He said that you’re a good guy and I trusted Alex for saying that because he’s also a good friend of mine. So I apologized to you and from then on, we started to have a good conversation. From morning or afternoon chat to late night calls. Things run smoothly as we get to know each other day by day.

Few weeks later, you arrived here in Iloilo from Manila. After a few days, you asked me out on a date. Finally, we’re going to meet!

It was May 26, 2017. You said you were sitting in one of the benches at Atria Park. As I reached the place, I looked for you and I saw you right away. I sat beside you and greeted you with a handshake. I was nervous and sweaty during that time. As I laid my eyes on you, I said to myself “Oh, he’s cute in person!” I was day dreaming for about 10 seconds then reality came in when I realized I got too excited that I didn’t even went to the restroom first before meeting you. I should have combed my hair, wiped my sweaty face and retouched my make up. I was a bit down because I think all my preparations were put to waste. Just so you know, few hours before our meeting, I put some alove vera gel on my face to make sure that I’ll look glowing and I even placed some cold tea bags under my eyes to reduce its puffiness. Funny, right? Hahaha. I made those preparations to create a good impression but then I guess I failed your expectations by arriving late, sweaty and ugly. Hahahaha.

Anyway, enough with my mishaps. Good thing, the rest of the night turned out well. I enjoyed the dinner and our conversation. Of course I wouldn’t forget that night not just because it was our first date but because it was also the night when you asked to court me. How can so many beautiful and happy things happen in one night? Like meeting you, talking to you, you courting me, you holding my hands? Wow! For me, the whole thing was completely surreal.

Time has passed. Things were just slowly falling into places until one day I told you, “I’m going to tell you 3 words better than I love you.” Then you asked me what it is. I responded with a smile on my face, “It’s a yes!”. I know you were surprised and happy at the same time. I said yes, but let me tell you the reason why. It’s because I have watched a video about courtship and relationship. The speaker said, “To know if the guy is okay is to say yes already. You should keep the relationship long, not the courtship period.” So I took the speaker’s advice. Then you would probably ask by now, “Oh, so you said yes just because of that video? Not because you love me?”. Well actually, yes. But wait! Don’t get upset while reading this because you know what? That day served as the start of a decision to love, a decision to make you a part of me, a decision to commit myself to you, a decision to always be there for you. And I strongly believe that love is something that grows from our decisions and actions.

My feelings for you grow stronger everyday. I always ask you serious questions but when it’s your turn to ask me the same, I couldn’t compose an answer. It’s not because I am not sure of what I’m going to say, It’s because I am saving my words for this moment. Remember when you asked me why do I love you? I am now ready to let you know.

Babe, I love you because you’re simply you. I love you because you made it so easy for me to trust you. I love you because you have a huge and honest heart. I love you because you made me smile when I almost forgotten how to. I love you because you still find me worthy despite of all my cracks and flaws.

I have loved and lost and it feels like all the butterflies just died but you brought them back to life. I love you and thank you for reminding me again what butterflies feel like.